xanthan gum

i agree with PsyLynx. it is a snapshot, in a sense. there is only one suggestion i have: While the chill of the night... settles in... i'd suggest something more ...

redo your line breaks. espicially in the second to the last stanza. as always, i'm going to push poetic language in your poems, espicially on such a strong subject. this ...

each of the stanzas were it's own separate work - i was hoping you'd tie them in at the end, but you didn't. perhaps you could consider it? otherwise, the ...

the first few stanzas were beautifully written, but then you changed styles. it was no less than before, merely different. your descriptiveness and tantalizing imagery faded, and it became a ...

this was beautiful...up into the very last line. it was jolted and sort of awkward, like it didn't belong in this poem. i GOT it, but i just think that ...

A child sprays a whisper Lip popping effervescence A beautiful bubble of starlight Glittering toxins with the sun rays A hiss and the dream, in evanescence, can only, into otherworld ...

get rid of the comma in the last line and one "with" in the third to last line. other than that, this was fairly well written. the rhythm was occasionally ...

okay, i would like you to say that i enjoyed reading this poem and i'm sure it'd be even better if i sat here and pieced each phrase apart, wasting ...

the ending was actually sort of interesting, though all in all i'm pretty sure this poem was 99% ridiculous. a wonderful waste of space. i congratulate you!

absolutely stunningly beautiful. besides, of course, the off rhythm in the last line of the first stanza. :) my favorite parts: crossword-cryptic that living is a pleasure, not a sin.

i'm amused. the lines of the fourth stanza are too long, i'm sorry to say, and they barely squeeze into the regular rhythm and pattern. it's far too fat, for ...

parts i didn't like: Showing in your eyes was all the pain and denial --this didn't exactly fit with the lines around it. Degeneration is replaced with exhilaration is replaced ...

it was slightly pretty, but i wanted to kill the words "wind" and "joyful" and "me" by the end of the poem. sort of musical...

i hate it when people take the last phrase, snatch a few words from it and make it the title. but it fits, so i can't complain beautiful imagery, rhyme ...

use more poetic language, you have the start of something good here. the rhythm was off in a few places: For someone’s life to turn upside down. Why, when and ...